FROM BUSINESS WORLD OF 31 DECEMBER 2005
As the day approached
As the 25th anniversary of Business
World approached, Amitava Sanyal worked out a superb strategy. Every day he
would come and ask me if my column was ready. He would relate what brilliant
ideas our colleagues had had when the number 25 was mentioned to them; every
day the list got longer and more hilarious. He would reel off a list of my most
entertaining articles and tell me that inspired by 25, I at last had a chance
of excelling myself. With such exquisitely calculated tactics he succeeded in
destroying my self-confidence. So I ran away to Europe.
But it was no good running away, for I started
seeing 25 everywhere. Thus, the number of my flight was the square of 25 –
well, only 141 more than it. I arrived in Bonn, where Ludwig van Beethoven was
born 250 years ago – less fifteen. The telephone number of my friend Jürgen was
25 to the power of 6 – minus 72909499.
I was thrilled by this process of discovery,
but it was even worse for my mental balance than the Amitava tackle. For every
number I encountered touched off a race in my mind to establish its relation
with 25. Numbers are notoriously promiscuous, so much so that it is impossible
to find a number that is unrelated to any other number. And they are related in
so many ways; the grandmother of a number may turn out to be its niece by
marriage and a second cousin’s mother-in-law. A lot of monkeying around goes on
in the numerical world; tracing the complicated genealogy of 25 began to take
up so much of my time that I did not have a moment to enjoy the dark grey
clouds of Germany. Soon I came to a point where I would have lost my mind if I
had not found the root of all hilarity – 1980, the year of birth of Business
World.
The year 1980 is famous as the year in which Vigdis
Finnbogadottir became president of Iceland. It saw the birth of such famous
actors as Natasha Bobo, Eliza Dushku, Michelle Wild and Kareena Kapoor, and
famous footballers like Imanol Harinordoquy, Lee Suggs and Ronaldinho. But I
have just realized that I have got my arithmetic wrong: Business World was started in 1981 – the year in which in I
reached the age of twice 25, give or take five.
Most interesting year, 1981. That was the year
in which Donna Griffiths, an English schoolgirl sneezed – on 13 January – it
was 978 days before she stopped sneezing. At McCoy Stadium in Pawtucket, Rhode
Island, the Pawtucket Red Sox played the Rochester Red Wings on 18 April.
Neither knew how to bring the baseball game to an end; it was 23 June before
Red Sox won in the 33rd innings. HIV-AIDS was first discovered
amongst five homosexuals in June. Diana married Prince Charles on 29 July.
The lives of Japanese children got tougher.
They had to learn 1006 characters in primary school, and another 1850 in
secondary school; after 10 October, however, the Japanese ministry of education
added another 95 characters. Thus for instance, they would have to wait till
secondary school before they could learn to write “The third-class, villainous,
mediocre, lowly waiter overthrew the eminent queen, converted her daughter into
a legitimate wife and made her with child”.
On 13 November, motor cyclists of Port Dover,
Ontario got together and decided to have an event every time the 13th
was a Friday. And 1981 was the year in which Antigua and Barbuda became
independent from Britain, and Mauritania abolished slavery.
But I have just realized that I came to Bonn to
get away from, not to succumb to, the tyranny of 25. I ought to spend some time
enjoying myself, so for the weekend I think I will go off to the 25-Hours Hotel
in Hamburg.
