I wrote earlier about the flattering attention I received in the brief period when I was in the finance ministry. Flattery is a flourishing industry in India. I am not fond of it; sometimes I got quite fed up, as when I wrote this column, published in Business Standard of 11 March 2003.
MAKING UP TO THE LUNATIC FRINGE
I have nothing against the Times
of India putting female youth in front – though I do think the editor of Asian Age has a better eye. Just as a
verbal battle in Parliament is better than a riot in Ahmedabad, pictures of
pretty women are better than bottom pinching on buses. Some women think the two
are related – that the Parliamentarian of today is the ruffian of tomorrow
(more likely yesterday) and that the voyeur of today is the bottom-pincher of
tomorrow. But they will be surprised at the sheer profusion of gross intimacy
with the other sex – sorry, gender – that goes on in the minds of law-abiding,
well-mannered males. They are not such sheep as they look; inside each there
lurks a Labrador. But it is nevertheless better to have Labradors disguising
themselves as sheep than undisguised ones – just as it is better to have
Parliamentarians squatting on top of one another in the well carpeted well of
the house than running amuck on the streets.
But even a liberal man like me is
disgusted at some of the things I see in Indian newspapers. I was really put
off when I saw a central BJP minister, a much admired leader who seeks to set
an example to children, kissing the bearded Narendra Modi on his cheek. The
objective was too high for him; in his place I would have satisfied myself with
an air kiss. But he insisted on standing on tiptoe, and just managed to make it
before lowering himself. And just think of the example he has set female youth.
Now every Gujarati girl of a tender age who admires this leader will aspire to
the same high-rise stubble. I do realize that these aging leaders have to
compete with Mayawati as role models; but do they really have to rise so high?
My agitation was just beginning
to subside when I got another shock – a picture of Tarun Das shaking hands with
Narendra Modi. Well, I must admit the picture by itself was not obscene. There
is a difference between tiptoeing to help one’s lips reach the other’s cheek
and giving the other’s hand a momentary shake. It is the job of a CII
functionary to be friends with all sorts of people. It was what had gone before
that made the handshake off-putting.
For amongst the hundreds of
people that have criticized the abominable conduct of the BJP government in
Gujarat during the riots last year, there were exactly three members of CII –
Anu Aga, Rahul Bajaj and Jamshyd Godrej. There was one non-member – Cyrus
Banaji – who said in a CII meeting that Narendra Modi had blood on his hands,
and was summarily thrown out by CII strongmen for his crime. The CII brass
sidelined Anu Aga for hers. But Rahul is too big to hide; worse, he turned up
at a meeting held to propitiate Gujarat’s chief minister, and reminded him of
his duty to uphold law and order. Modi blew his top. But that was not enough;
these uppity businessmen needed to be taught a lesson. So Modi accepted an
invitation to a CII occasion – and did not turn up. Frantic phone calls: where
is the Honourable Chief Minister? Oh, he is on his way. How long will he take?
He will be there any minute. Grandees waited with saffron garlands in hand;
garlands wilted while the Honourable Chief Minister broke his promise.
The message got through. The
leaders of Gujarat CII said to the big shots of Bharatiya CII: look what you
all have gone and done – you have annoyed the Honourable Chief Minister. And we
have to live with him. Now which cooperative bank will give us a non-repayable
loan? What will we do without the government’s road-building contracts? Who
will save us when some zealous collector threatens to raze our illegally built
villas? And just think what you have done to Gujarat’s pride. The more riots we
have the prouder we get. We are the holy cow of the 21st century –
no one dare say a word against us. You do not deserve to have such worthy
members as us; we will go and join FICCI. Now that is a worthy industrial
association; it knows how to treat politicians – with reverence while they are
in power, with contempt when they are out of it, unless of course they look likely
to come back to power. In which case some modest attention may be in order.
That was a bombshell. No
industrial association could contemplate with equanimity the walk-out of its
Gujarat unit: it would be like Sachin walking across and joining Pakistan in
the middle of a match. Although Karnataka and Tamil Nadu have attracted a lot
of industry in recent years, Gujarat still is the second most industrialized
state. As competition has increased, so has the reluctance of members to
bankroll industrial associations. Gujarat was not just a holy cow; it was a
milch cow. So sanity prevailed, and CII sent its champion friend-maker, Tarun
Das, to Narendra Modi.
Political theory says that
competition forces parties to move towards the center. Actually, just the opposite
happens. Every major party has its loyal following; what it needs to do to win
is to attract the lunatic fringe. That is why Digvijay Singh, otherwise such a
sane man, suddenly turns to the worship of the cow and the joys of drinking her
urine (for those followers of his who are thinking of following his example, a
statement of British Medical Association (BMA), issued when Morarji Desai’s
urine drinking was in the news, is relevant: the habit is harmless. A healthy
human’s urine is free of bacteria and is unlikely to have any adverse effects.
Excessive drinking of it may lead to the deposition of urea in one’s bones; but
for that one would have to become an addict. BMA has not, to my knowledge, done
an analysis of the Indian female zebu’s urine; but as far as I know, bovine
urinary tract is as sterile as human. So go on, Digvijay, go to it.)
Far be it from me to compare
Gujarat’s Modi-loving industrialists to the lunatic fringe; but they are wrong
to chivvy up to him. And CII is mistaken in giving in to their threat of
leaving. Today, every state has to compete for industry; every industrialist
has to compete for capital and markets. Industrial growth has suffered in
Gujarat after the riots. Industrialists all over India should rue the damage
Gujarat riots have done to India’s brand; I have come across IT entrepreneurs
in the south who would love to secede from Gujarat. But the damage will be
vastly greater if the Gujarat virus spreads to other parts of India. Anu, Rahul
and Jamshyd see the danger, which is why they want the virus to be eliminated
in Gujarat itself. So should we all.
